I used to look at the little moles on my face and think of them as these ugly imperfections. I’d sit there and imagine what I’d look like without them. You see, those small brown spots on my skin didn’t fit that smooth, even skin that was shoved in my face in the name of “beauty” that I’d see in all of these magazines growing up.
Recently, I discovered the Japanese idea of wabi-sabi. Wabi-sabi is all about finding the beauty in imperfections rather than despising them or wishing they would disappear. It turns the cracks, the flaws and the things that make each of us unique into something beautiful.
After that, I started noticing the beauty in the little imperfections around me. The old wooden table that’s been scraped up and dented is full of these stories of the family dinners, the board games we’d play with those moments where we laughed so hard we cried and the crafts we’d do like building gingerbread houses together. If we can love something simple but imperfect like this, why can’t we do the same for our faces? Imperfections aren’t flaws when you look at them through the perspective of wabi-sabi.
Think about it: even artists have been embracing this idea. Painters like Van Gogh made brush strokes that were uneven but full of expression. In people, imperfections are like our own little fingerprints. Our scars, freckles, quirks, the slight crookedness in our smile, all of the things that make us us, are what should truly matter in the end. They’re the things people notice about us when they fall in love or remember a face. My husband hates his nose while it’s one of my favorite things about him.
I began to see these imperfections in myself as worthy of being loved as well. My moles became part of my identity. The scar on my left leg reminds me of the bad fall I had as a child. I stopped trying to erase these parts of me and started to appreciate them. When I let myself appreciate my own imperfections, I also started to notice them in others. My friend’s freckles make her look beautiful.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you’re pretending to be perfect. It means that beauty isn’t about getting rid of parts of your appearance. It’s about living with all your marks and moments and little quirks.
Next time you look in the mirror, try to spot what makes you distinct rather than what you think is wrong. Beauty isn’t flawless. Sometimes, it’s the imperfections that make life truly beautiful.
