I am old enough to be your grandfather, don’t notice it, but others do, but young people give up their seat on the subway and I get help crossing the street.

“Hold it, Mister. IT’S RED!”

“Say what?”

“It’s ...

I spent the summer working on a Mr. Bean's ice cream truck and when I was through, he paid me with a rain check.

"Sorry," said Mr. Potter of First National City, "we cash only papers checks here."

I had a similar ...

One day worse came to worse. He figured they had a lot in common, and after a period of getting to know each other, they'd live happily ever after. And for a while they did.

But an unintended consequence arose Each brought out the best ...

One thing you could count on, same as death, taxes, win some, lose some, was Frankie Diperino was one mean dude. Shoot you for looking at him wrong. When he turned nice, there had to be an explanation. "Diperino," said the doctors, " You're dying. Got a month ...

An ice cream truck approached Yankee Stadium. It was the bottom of the ninth, two outs, full count, Yanks down by one.

The truck sounded the same few notes while not ten feet away, a purse snatcher plied his trade on the oldest-looking, whitest-haired, most ...

One Halloween, the devil, disguised as an old man, came to earth and saw a car and a boy about to collide.

That kid was about to become history.

Having saved the child’s life, the devil asked for candy in return.

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How it came about is, without much schooling but plenty of brawn, I became a bounty hunter. I started on the more minor cases; the car thieves, the burglars, used them to gain experience in the ways of the criminal mind.

John Peters of the ...

I was in Manhattan visiting a friend and what I saw there was crazy. Just crazy.

There were typewriters, damaged as if thrown from windows; keys bent like arthritic fingers, chewed-on pencils, sans erasers. There were empty coffee cups, spineless thesauruses, and broken whisky bottles.

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This is the city Hollywood, California. I’m a cop assigned to the cold case of Mary’s little lamb. Most people know Mary through the version her public relations people put out. The lamb followed Mary to school; it was against the rules, the teacher put it out, end ...

Stanley is a copycat or a copy of a copycat.

If I arch my back, he arches his. If I wave my tail, he waves his. He’s an idiot, but we're close as close could be.

Last week, I was adopted and ...