This ache reverberates in my soul,
Penetrating all the confidence I’ve built,
Crushing all the parts that once made me feel whole.
I’m not who you think I am— not anymore.
Time has changed the way I think, who I am:
The anger lodged inside slowly turns into a roar,
Ripping through my very being.
“This was not the life I wanted,
This pain is relentless and unforgiving.”
It’s unforgiving like my thoughts constantly tearing me apart,
Disregarding all my accomplishments,
Laughing in the face of my art.
It’s never good enough, not for me.
So should I settle the score with more disparaging thoughts
Or let myself be?
I’m learning how to co-exist with my perfectionist self,
Second-guessing everything I do.
Insecurity and fear are all that’s left.
“It’s not a good look. Get yourself together,
You’re not doing enough
No matter how much you try to be better.”
The bad thoughts win today,
And that’s okay.
I’ve learned life’s better if you take it day by day.
Ded. To the ones who need to take it day by day. I see you.
