My hair does not want to be helped. I’ve accepted that.
I’ve seen the TikToks. I’ve read the articles. Everyone swears by the same hair tricks: dry shampoo, air-drying, the thing where you sleep with your hair in braids and the classic scrunch-and-go. Apparently, if your hair is “low maintenance,” life is a breeze. My hair has its own agenda, and that agenda is chaos.
She laughs in the face of dry shampoo. She frizzes when it rains, when it’s sunny and for no reason at all. If I air-dry her, she retaliates by looking like a triangle with opinions.
People say “just brush it out.” That’s cute. My hair gets bigger, not smoother. It looks like a lion’s mane, a very confused one.
Don’t even suggest heat styling. I’ve tried. Blow dryers just make it angry. Straighteners work for about an hour until it goes back like nothing happened, like it refuses to be tamed on principle. It’s not even rebellious in a cool way either. It’s just dramatic. Like, please, can we not have a full identity crisis before 9 a.m.?
Dry shampoo just sits there. It doesn’t absorb anything. My hair’s like, nice try. Try again.
Don’t even get me started on hair product. If I use too little, it looks like I haven’t showered in weeks. If I use too much, it’s crunchy. It’s like my hair knows I’m trying to trick it into behaving and punishes me for it. And no, I’m not trying your cousin’s coconut oil thing again.
People with easy hair don’t get it. They say stuff like “I just wake up and go.” Okay good for you. Meanwhile I’m fighting with my hair like it owes me money.
I’m tired of people acting like “easy hair” is normal. Some of us were not blessed by the Hair Fairy.
So if you’re out there, struggling with unpredictable curls, waves or a frizz halo, you’re not alone. Your hair may not be convenient, but at least it has personality.
