Poems from Cassidy Paredes

MY GAMES

by

I don’t know everything.

I’m not a genius or brilliant or even someone worth listening to

Or thinking about—but neither are you.

You know me. Know me all too well.

But still, you think you can ignore me when half the time you can’t.

You see, the best thing about me is even when I’m not in your conscious thought,

I’m always in the back of your mind.

All of your friends know me too,

Because I am who you are.

You see, I invented you without you even knowing.

I am the reason you gasp for a breath of air.

I am the reason you open your eyes in the middle of the night—can’t seem to fall asleep?

I’m here, and here to stay. I will never leave you no matter how many times you will me away.

I am not your friend, in fact, I hate you.

I want you to suffer—it’s my whole purpose for existing.

I was secretive at first, but the more and more interactive I was,

The more I realized how helpless, defenseless you were.

It’s pathetic really, how easily I win this game we play.

Before we even start, I know exactly how I’m going to win.

It becomes so boring for me that I will back away and leave you alone for a second, but just for a second.

You will think that I’ve left you. You’ll breathe a sigh of relief.

You’ll think that you’re safe, but you’re wrong.

I will never leave. Forget the feeling of safety—you lost that when you met me.

Allow me to reintroduce myself because it seems that you’ve forgotten who I am.

Hello, my name is fear.

I’m not real, nor do I have any significance of my own. I don’t know anything.

I’m not a genius, nor am I even brilliant or someone worth listening to or thinking about.

But you are, yet you let me win every single time.

Ded. The ones who can’t sleep

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